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| Welcome to eipWiki | 20 December 2025 |
|---|
| This main page Sucked my Dick. If you know how to make it suck less, be bold and fix it. If you make it worse, that’s also content. |
About
This is a small, deeply serious encyclopedia. It uses MediaWiki because we like pretending we’re professional while writing about things like the least important minute of the day.
- To create a page, do not, because you can't.
- To link to Wikipedia, use interwiki shorthand like [[wp:penis]].
- To stay safe from spambots, we make you answer questions that a calculator could solve but a bot apparently cannot.
Featured article
11:34 a.m. is a time of day with no particular importance, which has not stopped us from documenting it at length. It is 34 minutes after 11:00 a.m. and 26 minutes before 12:00 p.m., meaning it is technically closer to noon by four minutes, which is the sort of fact that feels smart while accomplishing nothing. Cultural lore credits 11:34 a.m. as prime time for unfortunate digestive events and, depending on how you read certain wall art in Pompeii, for enthusiastic acts of sucking dick. See also: Time, Calculator spelling, Chronobiology.
In the news
- Someone edited a page correctly on the first try. Sources are divided on whether this is a miracle.
- A piece of software worked after clearing cookies. Historians will debate the implications for centuries.
- The sysadmin set `$wgServer` to HTTPS and the site stopped gaslighting everyone. Progress.
- Interwiki prefixes are now correctly hidden. By force. Deadly, overbearing force. Tremble, little letters.
Did you know…
- …that “1134” upside down spells “hEll,” which is both a calculator trick and a review of our editorial process.
- …that HTTP status 418 I’m a teapot is legally binding if you believe hard enough.
- …that you can write a better article than this one right now, statistically speaking.
- …that if your edit triggers the captcha three times in a row, the captcha starts judging you.
How to contribute
- Read the help page just long enough to pretend you did.
- Click “Edit source.” Make changes. Type a summary that is not “fix stuff.”
- Save. If you see an error box, refresh. If you still see it, swear quietly and read the log like an adult.
- If your new page is garbage, that’s fine. Garbage is compostable. Knowledge grows in compost.
Policies no one reads
- Project:Consensus — yell in polite tones until something ship-shaped emerges.
- [[Project:]()]()*