Main Page: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 00:16, 23 August 2025

Welcome to eipWiki	21 December 2025

About

This is a small, deeply serious encyclopedia. It uses MediaWiki because we like pretending we’re professional while writing about things like the least important minute of the day.

To create a page, do not, because you can't.
To link to Wikipedia, use interwiki shorthand like this extremely ambitious concept.
To stay safe from spambots, we make you answer questions that a calculator could solve but a bot apparently cannot.

Featured article

11.34 a.m. is a time of day with no particular importance, which has not stopped us from documenting it at length. It is 34 minutes after 11:00 a.m. and 26 minutes before 12:00 p.m., meaning it is technically closer to noon by four minutes, which is the sort of fact that feels smart while accomplishing nothing. Cultural lore credits 11:34 a.m. as prime time for unfortunate digestive events and, depending on how you read certain wall art in Pompeii, for enthusiastic acts of sucking dick. See also: Time, Calculator spelling, chronobiology that is absolutely not peer reviewed.

In the news

Someone edited a page correctly on the first try. Sources are divided on whether this is a miracle.
A piece of software worked after clearing cookies. Historians will debate the implications for centuries.
The sysadmin set `$wgServer` to HTTPS and the site stopped gaslighting everyone. Progress.

Did you know…

…that “1134” upside down spells “hEll,” which is both a calculator trick and a review of our editorial process.
…that HTTP status 418 I’m a teapot

is legally binding if you believe hard enough.

…that you can write a better article than this one right now, statistically speaking.
…that if your edit triggers the captcha three times in a row, the captcha starts judging you.

How to contribute

Read the help page just long enough to pretend you did.
Click “Edit source.” Make changes. Type a summary that is not “fix stuff.”
Save. If you see an error box, refresh. If you still see it, swear quietly and read the log like an adult.
If your new page is garbage, that’s fine. Garbage is compostable. Knowledge grows in compost.

Policies no one reads

Project:Consensus — yell in polite tones until something ship-shaped emerges.
[[Project:]()]()*

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
-<strong>MediaWiki has been installed.</strong>
+{| class="mainpage-top-box" style="width:100%; background:#f8f9fa; border:1px solid #a2a9b1; padding:0.8em;"
+|-
+! style="font-size:160%; text-align:left;" | Welcome to '''eipWiki'''
+| style="text-align:right;" | {{CURRENTDAY}} {{CURRENTMONTHNAME}} {{CURRENTYEAR}}
+|}
-Consult the [https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Special:MyLanguage/Help:Contents User's Guide] for information on using the wiki software.
+{{ambox
+ | type  = content
+ | text  = This main page '''Sucked My Dick'''. If you know how to make it suck less, be bold and fix it. If you make it worse, that’s also content.
+}}
-== Getting started ==
+== About ==
-* [https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Special:MyLanguage/Manual:Configuration_settings Configuration settings list]
+This is a small, deeply serious encyclopedia. It uses [[wikipedia:MediaWiki|MediaWiki]] because we like pretending we’re professional while writing about things like [[11.34 a.m.|the least important minute of the day]].
-* [https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Special:MyLanguage/Manual:FAQ MediaWiki FAQ]
-* [https://lists.wikimedia.org/postorius/lists/mediawiki-announce.lists.wikimedia.org/ MediaWiki release mailing list]
+* To create a page, do not, because you can't.
-* [https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Special:MyLanguage/Localisation#Translation_resources Localise MediaWiki for your language]
+* To link to Wikipedia, use interwiki shorthand like [[wikipedia:Time|this extremely ambitious concept]].
-* [https://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Special:MyLanguage/Manual:Combating_spam Learn how to combat spam on your wiki]
+* To stay safe from spambots, we make you answer questions that a calculator could solve but a bot apparently cannot.
+== Featured article ==
+'''[[11.34 a.m.]]''' is a time of day with no particular importance, which has not stopped us from documenting it at length. It is 34 minutes after [[11:00 a.m.]] and 26 minutes before [[12:00 p.m.]], meaning it is technically closer to noon by four minutes, which is the sort of fact that feels smart while accomplishing nothing. Cultural lore credits 11:34 a.m. as prime time for unfortunate digestive events and, depending on how you read certain wall art in [[wikipedia:Pompeii|Pompeii]], for enthusiastic acts of sucking dick.
+''See also'': [[Time]], [[Calculator spelling]], [[wikipedia:Chronobiology|chronobiology that is absolutely not peer reviewed]].
+== In the news ==
+* Someone edited a page correctly on the first try. Sources are divided on whether this is a miracle.
+* A piece of software worked after clearing cookies. Historians will debate the implications for centuries.
+* The sysadmin set `$wgServer` to HTTPS and the site stopped gaslighting everyone. Progress.
+== Did you know… ==
+* …that “1134” upside down spells “hEll,” which is both a calculator trick and a review of our editorial process.
+* …that [[wikipedia:HTTP|HTTP]] status {{nowrap|418 I’m a teapot}} is legally binding if you believe hard enough.
+* …that you can write [[wikipedia:Special:Random|a better article than this one]] right now, statistically speaking.
+* …that if your edit triggers the captcha three times in a row, the captcha starts judging you.
+== How to contribute ==
+# Read the [[Help:Editing|help page]] just long enough to pretend you did.
+# Click “Edit source.” Make changes. Type a summary that is not “fix stuff.”
+# Save. If you see an error box, refresh. If you still see it, swear quietly and read the log like an adult.
+# If your new page is garbage, that’s fine. Garbage is compostable. Knowledge grows in compost.
+== Policies no one reads ==
+* [[Project:Consensus]] — yell in polite tones until something ship-shaped emerges.
+* [[Project:]()]()*